Friday, July 20, 2012

this upcoming ramadhan al-mubarak

she wanted to be a better keyboardist. a much better keyboardist that everyone would watch her performance with such admiration. she wanted to perform in a band. but then would that means she is senseless when she left her keyboard at home? haha. 

there is no need for further argument that girls need boys and boys need girl. according to my friend, a relationship between a girl and a boy should be closely watched as it would lead to another problems if we did not take extra precautions. yes, she is right. i agree with her. but i also pity her since i knew those kind of ppl wont listen to every bit of advice that was told. it is just like giving advices to logs of woods. they know what is wrong, what is good, what is haram, what is halal, yet they did that anyway. why? because we humans tend to forget things easily.

I remembered her words clearly. before she even gave that speech, i have been trying to avoid guys in such manner that people often disregard my actions. they thought i love to be alone. no, i hate being all on my own. i really hate that. it is just when i wanted to be with my girlfriends, there, tend to be guys around and i don't like it. thats the kind of thinking that i have been nurturing inside my very mind. strange? i knew that. being alone is such a sad thing. beside from you being able to avoid any gossips or rumours, you would feel strangely isolated. you would feel as if you were to cry but then there is no tears. 

is there any other person out there who could possibly be feeling or thinking like me? i bet it would be one in a million. 

"you would never know sadness when you were never being all alone"

covering up this whole story with a fake smile on my lips is the hardest act ever. 
laughing, when your heart is in pain is the cruelest action ever. 
you think you know pain? try to be all on your own. you eat by your own, walk on your own, watch that person when others aren't watching are such pain that would leave a scar once it stabbed you from behind. yes, i know i have my Creator. i do know that. but why i feel sad when i remembered my best of friends texting, calling and chatting with guys? i knew secrets that were hidden between my friends. that friend told her secrets to me, and that other friend told her secrets to me too and somehow their secrets overlapped which involved the same guy. that guy looked nice and kind but who knows? i have this prejudice feeling over guys i know that. and i am sorry for that. you never knew what you were to do if you were in my shoes. i stopped myself from hurting others. i blocked away my feelings and how i wished it would just disperse into thin air like the wind. but our memories are not something to be toyed with. we have no access to our own mind, to copy, edit, or delete it. we can't do all that. 

this upcoming month of Ramadhan i wish all of us would be having a great time fasting, empathizing with the misery of the poor who were unable to eat when they want to. 


i wish i would be able to go to mecca some day. 

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

we change

She looked at her reflection in the mirror. How fascinating it is if that very mirror is a magic mirror. A sudden thought brought her back to realisation. How small she is. To even think about it would be an embarrassment to her own soul. Her ego is way high beyond no one's reach.
She walked outside her room. Being held captive like that are not a remarkable thing after all. It is as if her mind is trapped inside as well, with no room to even linger around. As the door opened for her, a bright ray of sunlight reached her face. She slightly closed her eyes and opened them again in amazement. Her eyes gleamed as her lips smiled willfully. Her nose caught the fragrance of grass lying on the widest field she had ever seen. Catching a deep breath, she set her bare feet on the ground. The warmth of Mother Earth enveloped her. Up above the clear blue skies, birds were happily flying in flocks.

"Life is wonderful as it is. It is human who destroy the dream of others. But it is also human who dared to dream the wildest imagination in the hope to bring happiness to others. Look at the birds, they flew happily. Look at the flowers, the bloomed gracefully. Look all around you. Who dared to destroy all of this for their own selfishness? There are some kind of human. One of a kind, who dared to play around with nature, torturing us silently almost like silent killing under the moonlight. It is us who should stop them. Humankind is a race with such kindness that won't allow a shred of hatred to breed among us. Let's stop them."

Hey people!

Don't judge me, unless you have looked through my eyes, experienced what I have, and cried as many tears as me. Until then, BACK OFF; for you have no idea.