Today

How I wish I could be like her. She was able to stand up to protect someone who is so dear in her life. Would I be able to do the same? Today, I sat for ELE (English for Undergraduates) paper. I mean, what the heck is that? The questions are so damn hard plus I did not have enough time to actually think what I should write in my second essay. I was lost in my own thoughts hahaha :D But then, my friends made it up for me. We went out for an outing after our dinner (at 6 pm) and applied the cosmetics tester like we always used to do. I even saw a young woman laughed as she saw us. Well, did I care? :D She must have thought we are just school kids, trying out the tester out of curiosity. She was not wrong however. HAHAHA . Tomorrow, I am going to sit for my second paper. Hubungan Etnik. More into Malaysia History. I guess I wont have enough time to read the entire chapter in that book.

Maher Zain - Number One For Me (Mother)

I was a foolish little child
Crazy things I used to do
And all the pain i put you through
Mama now I’m here for you
For all the times I made you cry
The days I told you lies
Now it’s time for you to rise
For all the things you sacrificed
Oooh
If I could turn back time rewind
If I could make it undone I swear that I would
I would make it up to you
Oooh
If I could turn back time rewind
If I could make it undone I swear that I would
I would make it up to you
Mom I'm all grown up now
I'ts a brand new day
I'd like to put a smile on your face everyday
Mom I'm all grown up now
And it's not too late
I'd like to put a smile on your face everyday
You know you are The Number One for me
You know you are The Number One for me
You know you are The Number One for me
Oh Oh
Number One for me
Now I finally understand
That famous line
About the day I’d face in time
‘Cos now I have a child of mine
Even though I was so bad
I’ve learnt so much from you
Now i’m trying to do it to
Luv my kids the way you do
Oooh
If I could turn back time rewind
If I could make it undone I swear that I would
I would make it up to you
Oooh
If I could turn back time rewind
If I could make it undone I swear that I would
I would make it up to you
Mom I'm all grown up now
I'ts a brand new day
I'd like to put a smile on your face everyday
Mom I'm all grown up now
And it's not too late
I'd like to put a smile on your face everyday
You know you are The Number One for me
You know you are The Number One for me
You know you are The Number One for me
Oh Oh
Number One for me
You know you are The Number One for me
You know you are The Number One for me
You know you are The Number One for me
Oh Oh
Number One for me
There’s no one in this world
That can take your place
Ooo I’m sorry for ever taken you for granted
I will use every chance I get
To make you smile
Whenever I’m around you
Now I will try to love you
Like you love me
Only God knows how much you mean to me
Oooh
If I could turn back time rewind
If I could make it undone I swear that I would
I would make it up to you
Oooh
If I could turn back time rewind
If I could make it undone I swear that I would
I would make it up to you
Mom I'm all grown up now
I'ts a brand new day
I'd like to put a smile on your face everyday
Mom I'm all grown up now
And it's not too late
I'd like to put a smile on your face everyday
Mom I'm all grown up now
I'ts a brand new day
I'd like to put a smile on your face everyday
Mom I'm all grown up now
And it's not too late
I'd like to put a smile on your face everyday
The Number One for me
The Number One for me
The Number One for me
Oh Oh.. Number One for me

Tears of Life

I feel so sad today when my mother told me that my grandmother is suffering from cervical cancer. I knew she is sick these few months, but I never really imagine that it would be cancer. Her conditions worsened every single day. Her body is getting smaller by days and she can't walk on her own at all.. It is as if her strength is dying out. I don't want her to die yet. Not yet. But even the doctor told us that we have to take good care of her or in other meaning she actually told us to be with her during her last remaining days. She knew that she has no more chance of living and she always kept repeating to me and her daughters and sons that she is going to die soon. She looked terribly afraid when she said that. Everyone is afraid of dying as we do not know what awaits us in the other world. In her case, she suffered so much, so much that you would never imagine.

I just can't take this anymore. I don't want her to die. This few months alone I have been experiencing the deaths of my close ones. My cousin, my relative, and I don't want to experience it again. Twice is more than enough. Please, no more. . .
I knew death is not something under human being's control. I knew that. But if you were to experience the deaths of those very close to you twice in a row, what would you possibly feel? And that your grandmother actually had cancer and have no more hope? What would you feel? That's what I am feeling right now. My mother must be feeling very sad. I hope I would be by her side at this very moment but unfortunately I can't. Be strong, mother.

And this time around, everything is hopeless as it seems to be.

Love and Hatred

I have this intense feeling of hatred inside me. It has resided in the deepest part of my heart for so long now.I do not think that I would be able to forgive her for what she said to me.I hate such an egoistic person with no sense of maturity.
I never said that I am perfect. I have lots and lots of flaws. Even much much more than you have. But I always remind myself to never look back or you will never be able to look ahead again. Life must goes on no matter what occurs.
Speaking of which, I think I have developed another hatred for guys. I'm sorry guys. I just do not have reasons to like you. Even if you do not like me, then it is okay because I don't mind the slightest about who hates me and who likes me, if there's any.






Few weeks ago, my cousin died. He is only 17. I'm not that close to him maybe because of our gender and age difference. I can't even believe that he is gone. Not to mention his sister, a best friend of mine, I think she would take quite some time to move on.
I dedicated to him my second piano song, the one that he did not have the chance to hear. I do not believe it. I just can't. He is just so young. ..and yet.. T_T
He was my neighbour. And I do not even had a chance to say goodbye, for the very last time. That is my regret.
I bet he also would never have thought that he would die so young. He was just here yesterday and today he is already gone. Gone to the other world.

ALLAH ...