Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Little Dresses

dress is the type of clothing i like most. it is long and flowy like a jellyfish. :)

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

rectangular path of life.

the last paper sure made me feel stupid. haha.
i think i might not score for this paper even when i have once get 100 marks for the quiz. this is possibly an omen. how crazy does it sound when i said i just made it halfway in the second essay question? lost 10 marks there. probably. maybe i have made HIM mad at me many many times, that's why. :( forgive me. 

i wish i have a brain like Albert Einstein. 
i study like a moron last night. 
as i opened the exam paper, i sighed. 
EVERYTHING that i have been studying by pulling all-nighters are not there. not even one question about basis, rank and dimension and minor and blaaa blaa bla... grr!

okay lets stop those crazy-student-like life there. 

by the way, i am feeling much better now. at least for the time being. would i be able to forget? no, of course not. maybe i am feeling this way because i thought of him as a best friend who would always be there for me. Emm, would he or would he not? it is a little frustrating, but as i opened up my perspective, i managed to get a clearer view of my future. i am going to concentrate on my studies. that way, i might be able to pursue my long-lost dream. after graduating, i might continue with my second degree, well that depends on my CGPA. it must be 3.80 above or i won't get any scholarship. well if plan A does not work, plan B is still there. i will make sure to appreciate my life more. i am going to look further, deeper, so i would become someone people would never thought i would be. :) you guys are going to regret looking down on me! haha.

by the way, i have been planning of going to Japan the end of this year. Hooraay!! 
well it is just a plan. i have to take a lot of considerations before going there. i might just be going there alone. 
the planned date is 30/11/2013 till 6/12/2013. yes a week. the ticket fees including airport charges are about RM940. plus the passport. +- RM1k. 
a problem, a major problem is that i don't know how to make a visa. haha. they said i should have at least RM6k in my account i guess that won't be a big problem. but how to make a visa? no one i know knew how to make one. wuuuu~ 
and besides, if i were to go on my own, what if she is not there yet. and i have no one to ask about directions whatsoever since i don't really understand japanese. and japanese do not know english. okay that's one of the worst-case-scenario. 

okay thank you!
 i AM Albert Einstein after all. i can study japanese in just a week. haha! (aho janai ka? no one would be able to learn japanese in just a week)

a vacation to Japan with my best friend is the best thing ever and is my dream! i would never put anything in front until i have set my foot there. 

till then, wish me luck!

wait for me. 

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

untitled feelings

a man who truly loves you would never let you go no matter how hard the situation is.

i know how hard it is to find someone who is able to love you unconditionally. i never found one in my whole life. not even one.
men used to toy with my feelings. they are there when they need us and leave us when the situation is favourable for them. dear men out there, can you please explain why? can you please explain?
i know tomorrow is the day. after heart-throbbing reconciliation, there you go again. it has been only a few days. it is impossible for you to be patient for another year. deep down, you never love me right? it is alright.

p/s: atashi wa tsuyoi desu. :')

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

The Little Fairytale's Worst Nightmare

he is the sweetest person i have known in my entire 22 years of life. he knows everything about me yet he accepted me the way i am. he speaks a language that i really love ever since i am 13 years old. such stupid reasons did turn me into a moron after all. i have beginning to trust his words, his actions and his promises.
and after a month, that fairytale-like story has come to an abrupt end. with this one reason.

"I am still very young, so are you. I begin to realise that I was able to do everything on my own. I guess this is it. Goodbye"

such simple sentences.
such simple words.
what is the point of making me fall for you?
and how come i was so blind not to realise his lies?
baka mitai.

you know, i have been through his experience. unsure of my own feelings. and the reason is, i fall for another person. in his case, it might be the same after all. what goes around comes around. what i did before would come back at me again, in an even frightening manner.
no words were able to describe what i am feeling. the only thing i can't tolerate are his lies and broken promises. if you can't fulfill those promises, don't even dare to make them in the first place.

tears can't possibly interpret that my heart is screaming. it is not just wounded, it is broken to pieces. how am i supposed to glue them back together? T_T

a broken heart would take a long time to recover. i have been through sleepless night and worried about this imminent examination as i can't focus on my studies. oh, how i wish i was born without feelings and heart. that way i won't be experiencing the torment of being left alone by someone i used to trust.

Hey people!

Don't judge me, unless you have looked through my eyes, experienced what I have, and cried as many tears as me. Until then, BACK OFF; for you have no idea.