VIVA

i have just finished with my mini thesis presentation about two days ago. I was nervous to the core even though there weren't many audiences. but i just couldn't help it. there were two panels. the first panel is my maths lecturer while the other panel is a lecturer from another unit. both of them were not so strict and gave appropriate comments and questions. i didn't even know if i answered their questions right haha. well, whatever.

me. 24/9/2014. 

alhamdulillah. this 30th of september would be the due date for passing out the reports and we would just be waiting for final exam. the last exam we would be sitting here, in this campus.

may Allah ease everything. Inshaallah.

p/s: 30th sept is my 23rd birthday! :D

life is a test

i have been feeling so alone ever since i was little, ever since i know the meaning of being left behind, the feeling of sadness that no one would be able to comprehend. as i grow older the feelings still come and go like the wind; which is never a tender one.
sometimes i wish i would lead my own life soon, getting married, have my own kids and family. it is hard to be me. sometimes silence is better than words. sometimes lying to one's own feelings is the best way to survive.

people often says, "I like being 'like' you, never to worry about what others might think, so independent"
but being me is not easy. the reason i am independent is just because i have no one to rely to.

but then i am thankful that i still have these two persons in my life. my best friend and FR. the only people to be there even when no one in the world would even bother, when no one seem to care, when no one seem to understand. thank you for always be there. i love you both so much. :')

no more confusion

today was the first time we met after a few struggles to keep this relationship in the right path.
he came over to say hi to my parents and the we went to a picnic, actually it is not a planned one. hehe :P
he suddenly called me early in the morning (i was still fast asleep) and told me that he wanted to come over at noon. i was surprised of course. but you see, he likes to surprise me. :D
we spent hours talking.
the moment slipped away just like that.
it was fun.
and the rest, i have to keep it to myself. :)
i guess i have made up my mind after almost a year of confusion.
and believing is the first step.

i might not tell you this, but..

あなたがずっと好きでした。

約束だよ！ inshaallah :)

p/s: every memory will be recorded in here. i am forgetful, you see.