last night, i was totally shocked.
shocked to know 'that person' has engaged and getting married next year. what is this feeling then? i feel so depressed and sad i'd rather not knowing the truth at all. :(
i never blame this on my parents. they knew what is best for me. And Allah knew my heart that even i don't. maybe my heart is not pure anymore.
maybe it is darkened by my impure actions, my sins, my mistakes towards my Creator. i deserve this. so it should be okay.
i found someone that my parents like. i don't know how long would this continue as i am afraid it would repeat itself again. i know how my heart looks like. it is not the same as everybody else's since i'm just me. i lacked many many things.
pray and du'a are my only hopes.
would he be the one for me?
only HE knows
