life is a test

i have been feeling so alone ever since i was little, ever since i know the meaning of being left behind, the feeling of sadness that no one would be able to comprehend. as i grow older the feelings still come and go like the wind; which is never a tender one.
sometimes i wish i would lead my own life soon, getting married, have my own kids and family. it is hard to be me. sometimes silence is better than words. sometimes lying to one's own feelings is the best way to survive.

people often says, "I like being 'like' you, never to worry about what others might think, so independent"
but being me is not easy. the reason i am independent is just because i have no one to rely to.

but then i am thankful that i still have these two persons in my life. my best friend and FR. the only people to be there even when no one in the world would even bother, when no one seem to care, when no one seem to understand. thank you for always be there. i love you both so much. :')