So Far

I don't like it here.
Yes, that's the truth. I wish I could turn back time even if it is just for a second. My life during my secondary school days are much sweeter, much tender and much gentler in fact. Ayu and Izham; both are my cousins, and we paid great respects to each other. The three of us used to be in the same class. My friends, Ainun, Thania, Sal, Nabila, Fatin, Farah, Mira, Bashir, Hisham, Irshad (sorry for those name I do not mention) they made my life so beautiful. And that is the reason I love them so much. My friends here are obviously different, in character, in personality, and in manners. I just can't cope with this situation even when I do have friends who understands me the way I am.

What did you feel if your friends refused to answer your call? Calling you a nuisance? I heard from my friend, that one of them even called me 'orang gila' or in proper English, 'crazy woman' (best-suited). I'm hurt of course, but I paid no attention as she actually had done many other great deeds for me before. I just use that excuse to cover everything up. It is okay. It would be fine. Right, SD?
The other three pretended not to hear anything. They knew I called, and just put their hand phones away. That's pretty much of a drama. I knew this. Do you think I am stupid? I am just being ignorant. Putting my anger in the front line would never bring any benefits to me at all.I ignore everything they did up to this point. I think I would continue to be like this, being ignorant to the situation around me. If I don't, I would end up being hurt again. For now, I will just remember every good deeds that they have done for me and erase the bad ones. I would be alright again. Keep smiling :)

Lucky me that I managed to survive this situation for already two years and a half. Another 2 years to go. Fighting!

Well, I am not the type to talk about others, but I did tell my closest friend about what I personally feel inside. Is that wrong? I don't like to spread rumours about others and I am sure to hate those who spread rumours about me and my private life. My life consists of my Creator; Allah SWT, my beloved Rasulullah SAW, my father, mother, elder brother and younger brother. I love HIM and I love them so much of course :) Is there anything to be jealous about? No, nothing. You have your own family, and I have mine. The only difference is how you appreciate their existence in your life. My family is the most significant thing that I ever had so far.

Hah! By the way, yesterday, my ex roommate snapped a picture of me with the piano with her DSLR. It came out great of course even though it was just a random snap. Hahaha. I am so damn happy! How I wish to realise the dream of owning my own grand piano one day! It is not just a dream, it is an ambition of mine. I would surely, one day realise it. Just wait and see. My first keyboard is Casio CTK-230. It feels great to be with my 'Kibah'. His name is Kibah, my keyboard, I mean. Hahaha. What a weird name it is.

p/s : 'When life is treating you like a rock, become a stone'